So I begin again. Really. Truly. I am trying to become – to be,
and wondering if I have been. What’s in my heart? What is life like in the
reality that I’m living, if I am in fact really allowing myself to fully be real
and honest?
What if I really write and express myself? If I really open up and let my heart gush
out, prepared and ready to genuinely process and move ahead, in a bit of trepidation,
but mostly courage? I remember the sermon from Jesus Lifehouse Tokyo – that passionate
Aussie who used the analogy of a samurai to connect with the lost of Japan. It still rings in my heart:
Courage
isn’t the absence of fear. Courage is moving forward in the midst of fear.
I don’t really know what I’m afraid of. It’s just that I
haven’t done this before. And I’m not sure how to go about it. And because I’m
afraid, I am wasting my time away. I’m turning my opportunity into an obstacle
which I am just tripping on. It’s like I have to go through this door into this
house, k? And I just keep closing the door, walking circles around the house,
looking inside the windows, sitting on the porch…. Everything BUT going inside.
And…. It’s all that I’m supposed to do. Just walk through the door.
This song comes to mind. I listened
to Good Charlotte quite a bit during high school, but I haven’t heard them in ages, and
this brings back some good memories. I always thought it didn’t
really fit with the rest of the message of their album, since the rest of the songs mainly highlighted the depression that was seemingly all around us. But this one, this has a good message.
To moving on!
